great appreciation...

Great Appreciation

It has been nearly nine months since Steven and I started seeing our fertility specialist here in Charleston making a total of 18 months of infertility now. There are so many things that factor into infertility that takes a toll in your everyday life. Doctor's visits, costs, physical and mental emotions, etc. One of the biggest that has affected me throughout our journey has been doctor's visits. 

When we first arrived in Charleston I was not sure I would find a job here especially with Steven being in the military. I have found that a lot of people will not hire due to the unsure"ness" of the military life due to plans changing constantly. I was, however, very fortunate to be offered a part-time teaching job here. My first day of school I went home and cried- I just KNEW that this was not the school for me. It is a completely different school than anywhere I have taught in the past. If anyone would have told me that 10 months later I would have completely fallen in love with it I would have laughed at them. Now I am not sure I could go anywhere else. While I LOVED teaching in Alabama, and my students to this day have my whole heart... teaching here in Charleston has completely changed me. My kids here have become my own "babies" and my goal every day is to provide love to each and every one of them. There are children that may not receive hugs at home, no food on the table, who come to school broken and worn. Their hearts need to be held gently and carefully. As a teacher that is exactly what I aim to achieve. A couple weeks ago I walked into our school's awards assembly. I am usually teaching a class during this time; however, this particular day I was free to observe. There are no words to describe the feeling I felt as I walked into the cafeteria. All this time I had assumed that awards assemblies here were just the same as my previous schools (parents and loved ones fill the entire cafeteria- they've taken off work and made a day out of watching their special one receive a single award). That day, however, was much different. There were maybe a total of 4-5 parents in the room. It completely broke my heart. I noticed something that was amazing though- my principal, Janice Malone. She created an atmosphere that was a celebration for each and every child. You don't realize how special an experience such as this is unless you've seen the other side. I have watched her with the children here... and I am amazed every single day. She has a "mother's heart" for each child here, and I strive for the same every day I am here. 

Now you may be asking what does this blog have to due with infertility?

It has everything to due with infertility. If you are someone's boss, a supervisor, or an administrator of any kind I hope you continue to read with an open heart. Since I have started the fertility process... I have had many doctor's visits. I average around 2-3 doctor's visits a week. This alone can take a toll on someone, and adding a job in the mix makes it even harder. I only work 3 days a week (which I LOVE), but that means if I have a doctor's appointment on one of those three days that I will only be working a 2 day week (which sounds terrible). The fertility process doesn't allow you to choose when you want to come in. Everything is a timing game, and it all depends on when your body decides to cooperate. All of that determines what time and when the doctor will need to see you again. It may be every other 2 days or 3 days... it really is an unplanned schedule. So you can see how stressful this can be. 

To add on top of all of the above... most of my infertility journey has been without Steven by my side. He has been deployed, and without him I have felt lost as if a part of me has been missing (not too much longer now). God provides people in your life such as other wives, co-workers, and principals to fill that role, and I am so very thankful. 

So far throughout the last nine months my principal has worked with me throughout every appointment. Most of my appointments are in the early mornings, and I am able to make it to school before my first class starts. However, occasionally there are days that I have to miss a class or two and get here as soon as I can. My principal has never questioned me nor has she ever made me feel like I have been inadequate to fill my position. She has worked with me in switching class times around just so I can make a doctor's appointment and be here without missing any classes. When I have had one-on-one chats with her she has responded with encouraging words, prayers, and pure motivation. I remember one comment in particular she said to me one day as I was thanking her. "Everyone woman that wants to be a mother deserves to be a mother."

I believe there is a reason God provided this opportunity for me here in Charleston. He knew that as I started the journey of infertility that I would need God fearing people in my life. He provided me with just that. I remember during my first IUI procedure I received a text from a teacher friend at school stating that she and others had gathered in her room to pray for me during that moment. It brought tears to my eyes... I knew then that no matter the outcome that I had people who knew my heart and would be praying for Steven and I throughout. As we are in our third round of treatments now I still have comfort in knowing I am surrounded my prayer warriors. There is no greater filling than knowing you have the full support of your boss, supervisor, and in my case, principal. 

So today this blog is for Janice Malone. Thank you for being an inspiration and mentor to me. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for your support, and most of all thank you for being a principal that prays for her staff... on a professional level and a personal level.