Being mindful.

Being mindful.

Over the past several months I have read many blogs, facebook posts, and statuses talking about natural births vs. medicated, midwives vs. doctors, at-home births vs. hospitals, etc. These are topics that have become very popular in recent years. I wanted to take a minute to share with those bloggers/labor & delivery coaches & encouragers, etc... This is a bit of a different blog for me. It's not about me or Steven or our journey but just a few of my thoughts on an important topic instead.

I am going to preface this with the phrase "to each their own." It is your pregnancy, your ultimate decision on how you want your birth plan to go; however, I feel led to talk about a few things that have started to concern me.

First of all, I've never delivered a baby. I've made them. And I've lost them. It is by the God given talent of some amazing doctors that I've been able to be given the chance to even have babies. It is because of medicine and science that God has created here on this Earth that I have six embryos sitting in a freezing incubator right now. So you see... There is nothing "natural" about my experience and my journey to become a mother. And one day (God-willing) there will be nothing "natural" about delivering my baby. That's my choice. That's my birth plan. And that's okay. Just as it was okay for you to choose the opposite.

Natural vs. medicated

If you want to have your baby naturally without taking any medications by all means do! That is your choice, and that is just fine. BUT if you want to use all the medications... Guess what? It does not make you any less of a mother! It does not take away the "natural" bond between you and your precious baby. It does not make your delivery any less spiritual or emotional. It does not mean that your husband will have any less of a spiritual connection with you throughout your labor. It also does not mean that you were weak by choosing medicine than pushing through the pain. My point is... You do not have to feel bad for wanting to use medication. And honestly, those "all-natural" mothers out there that do make you feel that way should be ashamed of themselves. Every mother should be able to make her own opinion about HER birth plan whether it be natural or with medicine. I have several friends who have delivered naturally, and upon speaking about labor & delivery they have never made me or the people around me feel any less of a person for not wanting to choose their birth plan. However, there are so so many that do, and this blog is for you.

Midwives vs. doctors

1. Midwives ARE NOT doctors. Do they know a lot about pregnancy and labor & delivery? Of course! Are some of them certified in high levels of training and education? Yes. Some can even administer anesthesia and other meds in some states; however, they are still not certified doctors. Let me just give an example of why I do not believe midwives are the better choice (again this is my opinion, and I'm fully aware that others have a different one). My nephew, Cole, who is eight years old now wouldn't be here on this Earth if my sister would've chosen a midwife to deliver him. His heartbeat went undetectable within seconds, the doctor came in and immediately said, "It's go time. We have to deliver him now." He was literally born within a few minutes from that moment by cesarean section. Little known fact: midwives are not certified to perform c-sections; therefore, if my sister had chosen a midwife then there's a very high possibility that that precious boy I've spent 8 amazing years loving wouldn't be here today. Here's the thing... Labor and delivery is not always sunshine and roses. Sometimes it is! But for some it does not always go according to plan (especially your plan). In those situations it is so very important to be able to trust in the knowledge and wisdom of your doctors. I truly believe that God gave doctors the talent they use to deliver babies every day, and I by no means am about to come in between that. I'm no doctor. And I wouldn't dare encourage an expecting mother to go against the knowledge of a doctor who has spent years being certified in his/her field. I recently read online where an expecting mother was concerned about being induced and not being able to refuse medicine. Her birth plan was to be natural (which is just fine). But some of the replies she received made my heart ache. I've known two mothers who delivered stillborns at 41 and 42 weeks because they were not induced earlier. If your doctor is suggesting induction then trust him/her. There is NOTHING wrong with inducing at a reasonable time, and I'm pretty confident that any certified doctor knows when that time is.

Mothers who organize these "all-natural" groups on Facebook... Just be mindful of others. You are not doctors. You may know a lot when it comes to labor and delivery due to your own experiences, but please also encourage expecting mothers to choose their own way, and please don't down play the professional opinion of a doctor.

At-home births vs. hospitals

Were most of our ancestors born in their homes ages ago? Yeap. Do we HAVE to choose that route now days? Absolutely not. Is a house unsafe to deliver a baby? Not necessarily. Is a hospital safer? Absolutely. Let me just throw an unfortunate scenario out there for you. Let's say you deliver your baby perfectly/naturally in the comfort of your own home with your midwife. Now let's say that within minutes of holding your precious baby that he/she turns blue and stops breathing. Or let's say that within minutes of holding your precious baby that YOU stop breathing... A little different now right? Can a midwife save you if you start bleeding out? Would you make it to the hospital in time? My point here... Why not just deliver at the hospital? Just in case things do not go according to "your" plan. It is something to think about, and I encourage all expecting mothers to consider all the pros and cons and make the best choice for you AND your baby. Just remember you can still go the natural way even at a hospital. 

Do not ever feel guilty, ashamed, or less of a mother for choosing medicine, a doctor, and a hospital. Anyone who makes you feel that way- I would probably seek advice elsewhere. It is absolutely okay to share your own experiences, but please please don't play the doctor.

I write all of this to encourage you.... To make your own choice. If you feel overwhelmed and discouraged then trust in the One who gave you this life.. the One who created that little miracle you are about to bring into this world. He is the ultimate teacher and caregiver. But also don't forget that He is the same God who gave doctors the ability to do what they do.