being thankful for "next steps"

Let me just say how thankful I am to have my husband back home! Even though it was a short 3 week trip overseas the holidays were just not the same without him next to me. He and I were able to travel back to Alabama for Steven to spend "his Christmas" with all of the family for a long weekend earlier this January. We got a call from our doctor telling us that we would need to be back in Charleston for possible injections for an 11:15 appointment time on Tuesday.... it was Monday, and we were in Alabama so yes we made the drive at 2:30AM the next morning :) We did not get great news at the appointment as we were told my body just was not ready to start injections. So naturally we were a little upset. We decided to head out for lunch to our most favorite "comfort food" place (also known as Chick-fil-a). Steven noticed a homeless man and his dog on the corner... after seeing the man and his dog we were getting them BOTH some Chick-fil-a. Just minutes after handing the homeless man and his dog their food our phone rang with great news! My blood work came back showing great numbers/levels and we COULD start injections! It was crazy- when we asked our doctor why my ultrasounds were showing the exact opposite she could not give us an answer. She just said it was just a crazy thing that happens sometimes. SO while some may think the thought of "giving" may have nothing to do with it... I on the other hand completely disagree! Our God works in mysterious ways!

INJECTIONS

(quite frankly... they suck)

I don't know if everyone who takes hormone injections loses their brain cells, but that is exactly what's happened to me. I find myself putting ice in the water slot for the Keurig, placing trash in kitchen drawers, and just yesterday I found my car keys in the refrigerator (shhh...Steven doesn't know about that one yet). I have always been a sweets eater, but lets just say I have eaten enough chocolate in the past week to feed a school bus of small children! Besides the occasional memory loss and chocolate hoarding I'm feeling just fine! I will continue to take the injections until I have a follicle that is big enough to proceed with the IUI procedure. Please continue to be in prayer that over-stimulation does not occur as this is a big fear of mine. 

WARNING: I started this blog to help those that struggle to speak out, and I mentioned in my first post that this blog will be filled with words of truth and honesty (NO LIMITS). So this next part is for the girls.... so guys if the word "vagina" makes your cringe you should probably stop reading now. Haha! 

For those of you that are just starting out I will be honest with you... the vaginal ultrasounds do not get any better, BUT you do get used to having them if that makes you feel any better. You can only be poked and prodded so much before the embarrassment and shyness is thrown completely out the door. Let's just say the ultrasound tech becomes the nurse that you're closest with in the whole office... naturally. Before you know it you are discussing what each of you did over the weekend or talking about your favorite show that came on the night before. Honestly, one of the most awkward "firsts" I had to get over was Steven being in the same room with me during these ultrasounds. Now some of you may not know that Steven does have his nursing degree so things didn't seem to bother him.... I on the other hand was like, "keep your eyes on mine at all times!" Haha! Needless to say, my husband definitely knows how to calm my nerves... let's just say the flexible light the doctor uses turned into Steven's personal microphone as he pretended to interview me while we waited for the nurse to come in. I was laughing so hard I could have cried. I'm not so sure the doctor would have found him so humorous, but I sure did. It is strange how quickly you become friends and become comfortable with the staff, but I guess if you are going in 2-3 times a week like I am then it just happens naturally. 

Let's talk about blood work. Holy smokes... I am pretty sure I have given enough blood for a village to survive. They don't tell you that when you first start out- so be prepared to give blood every time you go in! If you're like me who cringes at the thought of even a finger pricker (as my nephew calls it) then you'll hate the needles in your arms just as much as I do. BUT again... after the first few weeks you WILL get used to it. I had no idea they could get so much information just by taking your blood and looking at your levels. The medical world truly is amazing. 

UPDATE:
Last week we received some not so great news... our cycle was cancelled. This means that 20 days of injections and nothing had worked. I was going into the doctor every two days for ultrasounds and blood work. As the follicles started to grow we were looking for follicle growth to be between 18-20mm in size in order to proceed with IUI. I had several follicles but none that reached any potential. My last visit showed an actual decrease in size with the follicles. This means the injections were just not working. So that cycle was cancelled out. Now we wait for medicine to start a new cycle, and we will be moving on to the next step (thank goodness for next steps)! Now I will start taking medications along with the injections. This is a good thing as we are not taking any step backward. Thankfully, we are moving forward and taking "next steps" in order to hopefully create some follicle growth. There will be several updates as the coming weeks approach. Please be in prayer for me as I prepare for Steven to get ready to leave this month. It's one thing to be going through such a tiring process (mentally & physically), but to be going through it without your other half makes it even harder. 

We have been shown so much love and support. We cannot thank you enough to friends and family that have messaged, texted, and called showing us their love and encouragement. We are definitely blessed. God has already shown us so much as we've started this journey together. Every day Steven and I pray for patience. Every day God provides us with just that. Every time I come out of the doctor's office and walk to my car I want to cry over not so great news (and usually I do because of these dead-gum hormones), but I know that because we serve a mighty God that He has something so much more amazing in store for us. We are reminded daily that mine and Steven's plan pales in comparison to God's plan for us. Each day we are thankful. We are thankful for patience. We are thankful for doctors and the wisdom and knowledge God has given them. We are thankful for His mercy and grace He has shown us. We are thankful for "next steps."